“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” ~Hafiz of Shiraz
Did you know that I have been on a quest to be happy for as long as I can remember. I thought I had looked everywhere. I have tried relationships, working, travels, and a life filled with my friends and countless activity, but I was still feeling very anxious. I was disenchanted with life and I knew there had to be more. Now here I am, delighted to tell you that I found it but only when I learned to get out of my own way.
The Power of Habits
Without realizing it, my life had been caught up in habitual ways of thinking and feeling that was dominating my everyday life. My mind would cycle on endlessly by judging myself, challenging my expectations, worries and resentments, and also making up stories to myself about what should and shouldn’t happen but I was overlooking the feelings of fear and uneasiness that were constantly running beneath the surface.
Life was happening right there, but in the background I had a constant mental commentary about how things weren’t quite right. It’s no wonder I wasn’t happy.
Let me fast forward to the here and now. Things are completely different. I’ve got no more useless worrying, regrets, or getting caught in my mental stories about other people or even myself. I have found that even my body has relaxed without all of the lurking agitation.
And here’s why it has happened!
Getting out of your own way means that you will have to become very familiar with your inner world. You will discover what you do that will make you suffer so you can choose to have peace instead. It is amazing how you will come to realize that you can press pause in any moment and learn to step back from the momentum of old, recycled habits.
When you do this you will begin to see what is actually happening. The pain of being stuck with a resentment that has been dragging you down. The constricting effects of believing your thoughts, and the chaos that comes from letting your feelings rule.
When you start to open your eyes wide, you will start live in a way that is intelligent, affirming, and aligned with your deepest desires. Finally, clarity arrives.
So how do you start? Well, getting out of your own way looks like this:
Ask yourself, “In this moment, what do I really want to feel?”
The answer to this question will connect you with your true underlying intention to be happy, peaceful, and clear. Just by doing this, you are already halfway there to being free.
Notice the thoughts and feelings that continue to grab your attention.
You will learn to see just how you get in the way of your own happiness. Do you think that you should have a belief that you are inadequate? Do you constantly tell yourself that you are a victim of your past? Do you define yourself by sadness or fear? If so, then this is why you suffer.
Befriend your experience by understanding what is present in your life and knowing that it doesn’t have to control you.
Learn how not to hold onto your stressful stories. You need to be able to let your feelings go without acting on them. This is the most loving way you can be with yourself.